Follow the Sign

January 10, 2015


Love the sentiment, but I swear I was nowhere near Los Angeles yesterday. Honest! However, this might explain The Rescues going AWOL for a few hours…

“B-b-but I have an MFA!”

January 6, 2015

diploma2_colorSigh. Having an MFA from Goddard or any other school is not a promo point…or even a bragging point. Well, maybe it’s a bragging point at cocktail parties or in front on your mom’s bridge club. But for publishers, and MFA is nothing more than a point of interest – and possibly offers some assurance the MFA holder can put sentences together in an artful manner. It’s not an author platform, it won’t sell books, or capture a readership, so don’t lead with this in your author bio in a query letter. Put it at the end, as an aside…because that’s what it really is.


Monday Funnies

January 5, 2015


FIGURING SH!T OUT – Amazon January Special

December 31, 2014

Looking for an amazing read? Take advantage of Amazon’s January special for FIGURING SHIT OUT by Amy Biancolli. Brilliant writing and a healthy sense of humor will keep you turning the pages.


Editing…Your Bestest Friend

December 30, 2014


Pricey Unplugged

December 21, 2014

Alrighty then. I finally did it. I laughed hysterically when it happened to others, but now it’s happened to me. I should laugh, but I’m too busy being horrified.

If you try to call Behler Publications, leave a message. I’ll be up in Iowa City buying a new cellphone Monday morning. Mine, ah, went swimming in the toilet this evening. F*ck.

Amazon Publishing vs. Felony Hyphens

December 19, 2014

The stupid is strong over at Amazon Central these days. UK Amazon-published author Graeme Reynolds had his book removed from Amazon because a reader – ONE READER – complained that the text had too many hyphens. Did you catch that? Too. Many. Hyphens. Mind you, the book has been out for eighteen months and enjoys consistently positive reviews.

But for the witless blather of one person, Amazon is blackmailing their author into altering his book into something grammatically incorrect.

Have I been sucked into an alternate universe where a major retailer accepts the complaints of a single anonymous reader – who could very well belong to the Fatally Stupid – and not even contact the author to discuss the issue before removing his book?

More importantly, is Amazon in possession of a brain and working knowledge of English? Their actions suggest hopeless ignorance.

This should give Amazon DIY authors pause before allowing this brainless behemoth to “publish” their books. Think a real publishers would pull such a stunt? Hell no. Real publishers possess firing brain cells (contrary to popular belief) and have to work smart because it’s how they keep the lights on and Rescue Beagles in designer doggeh chewies. If a problem arises, they discuss it with the author.

Amazon’s overreaching cranial-rectal inversion shows just how little control Amazon authors have, and they could find their books removed from sale over the complaints of a single reader, or some other bantha fodder.

And what’s worse is Amazon doesn’t care. Not. One. Whit.

The upside is that the book has been returned to Amazon’s site, which is wonderful news. However, that it happened at all is criminal. I’m sure the outrage proved to attract Amazon’s attention and allow someone with a functioning cerebellum to intercede on the author’s behalf.


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