Friday Funnies

Random Thoughts for the Day:

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. [lp: boy howdy!]

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. [lp: like today, perhaps?]

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to. [lp: Lordy be…been there, done that]

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this — ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. [totally hate this too. Just the other day, hubby came in and asked what I’d been doing that day ‘cos I was actually dressed nicely and wearing makeup for a change. My reply: ahh…I went to pick up the mail. Didn’t see a soul. What a waste of a great hair day]

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day “Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay. [lp: or margaritas made by a boozy beagle]

Happy weekend, everyone. Go write something brilliant.

9 Responses to Friday Funnies

  1. I’m relating to 3 and 5 in a big way. I am defeated by fitted sheets.

    Happy weekend to you too!

  2. My mom has a cleaning crew come into their home twice a month, and that woman can fold fitted sheets so they look like they came out of the wrapper. I’ve sworn that I was going to watch her some time to see how she does it. Then I wake up and remember that I’m about as far from domesticity as the beagle is from sobriety.

  3. Lauren says:

    Re: #13

    That is terrifying. Here’s how to fix it: Click “Cancel.” Copy and paste the entire thing into a new Word document. Save that with the same title but add the word “old” to the end of it. Then close the first one telling it not to save changes.

    Now you have two versions. Of course it’s a pain to compare them, but at least you have both versions with which to work!

  4. Lauren says:

    Folding fitted sheets: Roll into ball or closest resemblence possible. Store on shelf with all other sheet balls.

  5. Cat says:

    Why bother to fold them at all. I am sure I can pad around nicely and flatten them. I will follow that with a nice nap in the middle. PS I prefurr my sheets sundried. They smell better.

  6. You’ll have to fight the beagle for the nap spot. She’s pretty hoggy that way.

  7. janettronstad says:

    Lynn — You’ve got to love a dog that knows what she wants. I wanted to say thanks for speaking at our RWA meeting — I’ve read pieces of your Tackle Box book and would already recommend it to others. It’s got some great advice.

  8. Ann says:

    I could relate to points 1 thru 19! I have never recieved anything from Kays, so I wouldn’t know. Fitted sheets drive me to distraction!

  9. AT says:

    Thanks. I’m already forwarding #1.

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