Grateful Wednesday – leaning into the dark moments

In preparation for Thanksgiving tomorrow, I decided to sit down and count my blessings. It’s been hard to do since this flu thing kicked me on my rusty dusty and freaked me out because I’m due to go completely bip-bionic next Tuesday – and they won’t operate if I’m still sick. I guess those chest x-rays I had to take yesterday will either narc me out to the doc or pass me with flying colors. I finally decided not to worry about it.

That said, my thoughts of late have been a bit more inward than I prefer. I like to look to my blessings around me, rather than focusing on me. I had my first whack on the head yesterday, when I talked to my fantastically talented author, Amanda Adams, author of the April release, Heart Warriors. I’d blown her off for several days because I was in a flu-fog and barely remembered to feed the beagle, let alone carry on a sentient conversation.

Just talking to Amanda about book promotion reminded me why I love this publishing thing so much. I get to work with the most talented people in the world. Their causes become my causes. I’m a fuller, more well-rounded, informed, thoughtful person because of my authors. Their stories humble me because they’ve overcome great odds to be where they are today, and I constantly ask myself whether I could do what they do. They inspire me in ways I’d never imagined. How totally cool is that?

Here I was blathering on about a silly flu, when Amanda told me her son is facing a pacemaker surgery. What a complete idiot I can be sometimes. Who cares if I’m coughing like a ten-pack-a-day smokestack? A little guy, only nine years old, is getting his chest cracked open for the sixth time to have a pacemaker inserted. And what’s worse is children’s heart defects gets a mere 1% of all that money the Heart Foundation takes in with their various money boxes you see at the grocery store and their numerous fundraising drives. 1%. And that’s because they have no representation on the Heart Foundation boards.

So yah, Amanda’s cause has become my cause. Not only is her book a bible to anyone who has a CHD child or a special needs child, but she’s taking up the fight to get more money for CHD families, who are invariably millions of dollars in debt due to countless surgeries. The honor is mine to publish amazing books like this.

I couldn’t have done any of this had it not been for a rotten scam publisher who destroyed my first book and pissed me off enough that we created our own publishing company.

Over the years, I’ve learned to lean into the black moments because, while they’re scary, I see so much good come on the other side. It gives me hope that even though I’m going through a rough patch, there’s something to learn and grow so I can move on to the next level. Sorta like Tetris. My authors teach me this every day…grace through adversity. Aren’t we all trying to reach for that brass ring in our personal carousels?

So how ’bout you? Have you been thankful for those dark times, and did they portend something wonderful? I hope so.

The beagle and I wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving. The blog be going dark for a few days until after surgery. Bless you all!



7 Responses to Grateful Wednesday – leaning into the dark moments

  1. hollyyoumans says:

    Happy Thanksgiving and best wishes on your surgery Lynn! You too, are a warrior.
    – Holly Kammier

  2. Mark says:

    Aloha Lynn,

    Times were the darkest following 9/11, until I realized I *had* to follow my dream of seeing my byline in print. Once I got that break from my first editor, there was no looking back!

    P.S. Best wishes for a quick recovery, and look forward to seeing you sprint toward the podium with the theme music of “The Six Million Dollar Woman” playing in the background:)

    Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

  3. Louise Curtis says:

    This year has been pretty awful as I’ve endured crippling nausea for five months (and I know for a fact I have two more months to go), losing my income as a result – just when I needed it most.
    But I wouldn’t swap this year for anything, because the nausea is pregnancy nausea, and I have a beautiful baby girl waiting to come out and completely take over 2012 (and every year after that). I’ll be thinking of you during your surgery, and wishing you well as always.

    Louise Curtis

  4. Sally Zigmond says:

    2010 was a pretty bleak year for me. Illness, bereavement and depression. This year I have slowly been crawling my way back to a better place. When one is down it’s hard to put things in perspective but now I only have to look around me and see just how blessed I am.

    Thank you, Lynn, for inspiring me and making me howl with laughter over the past few years instead of howling with rage. My thoughts are with you as you undergo the knife and wish you all the best for a speedy recovery. And the same for all those people out there facing dark days.

  5. Louise, I didn’t know you were preggers. Congratulations! Daughters are lovely things, and I know you’ll enjoy yours to the hilt.

    Sally, you’re always such a dear. I know you’ve had a tough year, and I hope you’re finding the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s the shit that helps us recognize the good.

    Mark, Holly, you guys rock.

  6. Well a little late, but there’s always room to be thankful, so Happy Thanksgiving! Hope you’re feeling better and all goes well with your surgery. Actually, Lynn, I’m thankful for you, because through your feedback I’m inspired to reach higher and write better. You hold the bar high! Blessings to you too, Elise

  7. Thirty-five years ago Steve McQueen made a movie called Papillon about a fellow imprisoned in British Guiana. He ends up in solitary confinement in conditions that drove many to insanity. Every morning as the guard walked by on the catwalk, Papillon would grab the overhead bar to his cell, pull himself up, and whisper, “I;m still here, you bastards.”

    That’s my motto: I’m still here, you bastards.

    Hope all is well with the surgery.

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