How to Make an Editor Weep…

Writing is such a solitary endeavor that I think writers tend to forget there’s a big wide literary world out there where competition is the game we all play and excellence is the great equalizer. Some are more excellent than others – but I can assure you there’s one way to be considered part of the “less excellent” group…your grammar.

If you’re going to call yourself a professional at anything, one assumes that you’ve taken great strides to be very good at what you do, right? The art of writing is no different. Oh, I know, with the advent of self-publishing, we’ve witnessed all sorts of crimes against humanity and the English language, because now anyone can be a published author.

But in the world of stuffy editing teams, puffy sales people, grouchy accountants, and submissions committees, authors can’t get away with sounding like they’re missing a crucial element of their craft. I can hear the submissions committees now: “Pricey, how DARE you bring this before us! This author doesn’t know how to use pronouns!”

Case in point; an author has been playing coy with me for a few weeks, telling me their manuscript is the “story of a lifetime.” Yah, yah, heard this song and dance a million times. After telling the author twice that they could pound sand unless they actually provided a book proposal that gives me an idea of what the story entails, I finally received an email promising said book proposal. Hurray, thinks I.

Until they wrote this:

“I’m really excited about all the attention me and my cousin are getting in our town about…”

Oh. The agony. The cruelty. Okay, okay, this may seem like a case of, “Really, Pricey? Aren’t you getting just a bit picky?” I ‘spose. But if the author is this comfortable using improper pronouns in an email – and let’s assume they’re trying to impress me – then how great is their writing? Am I potentially facing huge amounts of time correcting every pronoun debacle, every misspelled word, and God knows whatever else? Editing is onerous enough without having to teach someone the basics of English…and I’m not sure this old-timer has it in me to try.

With schools placing less importance on grammar and composition, I fear our future writers may be doomed…and I’m facing more bottles of “Gray No More” on my locks and more dates with Jim Beam.

I’ve said it for many years, and I’ll keep on bleating it until my teeth fall out; if you’re going to take writing seriously, please learn how to write. Save an editor from mainlining good gin.

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2 Responses to How to Make an Editor Weep…

  1. authorguy says:

    “The art of writing is no difference”? The art of writing is no different.
    On the other hand, ‘me’ vs ‘I’ is a major sticking point for me. It’s not just grammar, it’s agency. ‘I’ is a subject, a person who acts. ‘Me’ is an object, that gets acted upon. A significant ethical distinction that so many people fail to draw. It doesn’t help that popular music pushes these errors, for the sake of a rhyme.
    BTW, love the pun. “My memoir is the story of a lifetime.” Get it?

  2. John Allan says:

    I’ll reiterate what I’ve said before, and on more than one forum: there are best-selling authors out there whose grammar has often proved wanting, and whose editors have obviously assumed they could get away with a light editing touch. I know, I’ve read them.

    And, er, ‘The art of writing is no difference.’, should read different.

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