The Beagle is not amused

September 20, 2010

Rear Butt Covers. I’m highly amused. The beagle is insulted.

Must.
Have.


Sally Fields moment*

August 2, 2010

I’m not quite sure what put the jam in my jelly doughnut this past weekend…

having Mom call me from Hawaii (yes, they summer over there, the poor dears) and telling me there was a huge article on Barry Petersen and his fabulous book, Jan’s Story in their newspaper (making her nearly drop her morning cuppa)

or

hearing that Tackle Box was being sold in the bookstore at RWA. And I wasn’t even there because I don’t do romance. See, conference bookstores are usually fairly small and only sell books appropriate to the event. Of course you find your usual writing help books, but they’re usually the top sellers. So to have TB included – which goes ten steps further by giving a behind-the-scenes look at the publishing industry – makes me all giggly like. Which reminds me that I need another run since the first 2k units are gone-ski.

Le wow.

*“I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!” (or at least our books!)


Huh? Wazzat? I’m on vacation?

July 14, 2010

So I read this morning’s Shelf Awareness with my usual fervor while mainlining my morning cuppa and discovered that  I’m on vacation.

Um, well…heh…actually I am out of the office sunning and funning down in Palm Springs – but I’ll be back to the office bright-eyed, hopefully tanned, and relaxed, on Friday. However, the article claims that we  in the “quaint world of publishing” vacation from April to Labor Day.

Huh? Fudgesticks, I missed the memo and have been working rather hard. Since April, we signed two fabulous authors and released two books. I expect to be ready to release another fabulous book and sign a couple more authors before Labor Day comes around.

I have no idea why poor Mr. Frum and his literary friend aren’t getting responses from their publishers, but it’s laughable to suggest that we’re all on vacation.

Now…pass me the sunblock and that margarita, willya?


Ain’t technology grand?

July 5, 2010

This is how I feel about the new iPod I got for my birthday. It does EVERYTHING!


Holy burning cakes and candles, Batman

June 21, 2010

I’m desperately trying to avoid Wednesday like the beagle avoids sobriety because it’s the day I decided to plague the earth with my presence.

There’s nothing for it. Wednesday is going to come whether I hide in bed with the covers over my head, so the heck with it. I’m blowing off Wednesday and finding out what kind of trouble I can get into. I’ll have the beagle with me, so it shouldn’t be hard.

Last time we hit the town, we ended up in the hoosgow wearing each others’ Vickie Secrets and smelling of bad gin. And for the longest time people made a wide berth around me whenever I went shopping for office supplies and kept calling me Lascivious Lynn.

I have no idea what that was about, but since I’m reaching my damn-near-mid-fifties, I’ll try for something more sedate.


There is nothing to fear but fear itself…

March 16, 2010

Really, guys, it’s a query letter…


Sunday Mirthbombs

March 14, 2010

Because you’ve worked so hard on your tomes of brilliance, I give you the winners of the Bulwer-Lytton contest:

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For all lovers of good writing, here are this year’s winners of the Bulwer-Lytton contest, (aka “It Was a dark and Stormy Night” Contest) run by the English Department of San Jose State University , wherein one writes only the first line of a bad novel.

10. As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it.

9. Just beyond the Narrows, the river widens.

8. With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description.

7. Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the East wall: “Andre creep… Andre creep…Andre creep.”

6. Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change surgeon to become the woman he loved.

5. Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from eking out a living at a local pet store.

4. Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins often do.

3. Like an over-ripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor.

2. Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn’t know the meaning of the word “fear;” a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death — in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies.

AND THE WINNER IS…

1. The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog’s deception, screaming madly, “You lied!


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