Do You Want to Look Like An Amateur?

October 17, 2006

Form rejection letters vs. personal critiques. As a writer myself, I’d opt for the personalized touch because I want to know how I can improve. I respect writers a great deal. Writers sit down and allow a piece of themselves to be exposed on paper. It’s a very intimate thing we do, and as an editor, I try to honor this by giving critiques where I feel comments are warranted. This can range from the savvy writer who shows potential to the writer who hasn’t researched how to put forth a cohesive synopsis.

With the advent of email comes the inevitable “hide behind the keyboard” mentality, and unfortunately, writers feel very comfortable firing back some extremely unprofessional comments. The usual fare has two main themes. The first (and #1 cause for rejection) are those who don’t take the submission process seriously and either fail include the pertinent information we ask for and/or a synopsis that makes absolutely no sense.

Just the other day I pointed out to a writer the purpose of a query letter and synopsis so he could improve his presentation. He wrote back to say that our guidelines felt like he was submitting taxes and bristled at the bullet points and the general unfairness of our requests. He didn’t like it, so he submitted what he felt like submitting and nothing more. Hello? Did anyone see me whip out my gun and put it to this writer’s head? If someone believes our submission guidelines are excessive and unnecessary, then perhaps they should refrain from submitting to us. The choice is fairly obvious. To complain about the way we do business gains a writer nothing other than to brand themselves as one who is more interested in changing what can’t be changed. Seems like a waste of both our time when the only goal here is to be published.

The second type of snarky emails I receive are those whose writing I’ve commented on because they show promise but have some fairly large problems – like blatant POV switches within a scene or developmental problems. I’ve been told all sorts of incredibly rude things and invited to do all sorts of interesting things – things that invariably included my dog or someone’s Army boots. Interesting thought, but my dog simply doesn’t go that way, and my son won’t give up his Army boots.

The themes are the same in these cases –I “didn’t get their work” or I don’t know what I’m talking about. It’s an interesting reaction from those who show a flair for writing because I expect better. Their tank-sized egos prevent them from seeing that I have no dog in their fight. I’m merely an experienced observer who likes their work but sees holes in their story. They’re free to listen to my observations or leave it. It doesn’t matter one whit to me.

This goes for those who tell me they’re “high strung because I’m devoted to my art.” Ah, bullshit. They’re cranky hackers. I work with real professionals all the time, and they are without a doubt the most delightful people to work with because they understand the business. They don’t need to puff up and strut about with their nostrils flaring because they’re the real deal. They accept constructive critiques because they understand their value.

To that end, the writer who acts like a professional will either thank me for my comments and move on, or they don’t write back at all. This is how it should be.

The best advice I can give to any writer is one of maintaining a professional appearance. Ask yourself how you want to be perceived. Do you want an editor to see that you’re an undisciplined newbie who is going to complain about the nature of things? Does anyone actually believe the rude person will be a desired addition to anyone’s publishing house?

The long and short of this is that writers often wonder why they get form letters, and this is why. It’s the unprofessional few who blow it for everyone else who welcome honest feedback.

I’m seriously considering bowing to what most of my colleagues do and issue form rejection letters. Who needs the aggravation? The submission process can bring out the bitterness in many. Just be sure that you’re not one of them.

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Posted by lynnpricewrites

We do books – not boobs

October 17, 2006

And now for something that grips the lighter side of life.

Honest to Pete, there is a clinic around here somewhere that caters to Spanish speaking women seeking breast augmentation. Obviously, Spanish women have every right to have perky numbers just like everyone else. Problem is, their number is perilously close to our company phone number.

Consider this morning’s phone call – one of many over the past year:
(sound of phone ringing) “Behler Publications, this is Lynn.”

“Hola. Is this El Grande Breasto Clinic?”

“Uh, no, this is Behler Publications.”

“Do you produce bigger boobs?”

“Only if there’s a check with a 10 and a lot of zeros behind it.” (clearing throat because caller has no sense of humor) “Okay, no, we don’t do boobs unless you want to consider our sales team. I’m certain they’d be interested in helping out with quality control. We produce books. Very good books. Would you like to look at our website?”

“No, I want bigger breasts.”

“And I want a gold-lined toilet. Why are you calling me?”

“Because this is the number for El Grande Breasto Clinic.”

“It isn’t. It’s the number of Behler Publications.”
(click)

(hangs up the phone and shouts to office) “We got us another wanna be boob job.”

(sound of phone ringing. I decide to let someone else answer the phone – someone who has a better sense of humor) “Hola, this is El Grande Breasto Clinic. We’re unable to take your call right now because we’re busy playing touch football with the new shipment of saline implants.”

(brief pause) “I’m sorry. I must have the wrong number. This is Publisher’s Weekly trying to get in touch with Behler Publications to let them know about an upcoming review that will be in our magazine.”

I swear; sometimes it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed.

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Posted by lynnpricewrites

What goes into a query letter?

October 17, 2006

In looking at my submissions pile this month, there seems to be a great deal of confusion as to what a query letter should consist of.

A query letter has:
• A brief outline of the plot. This is where you define and clarify the protagonist, villain, and conflicts. Anything more than a paragraph, and you’re giving me the synopsis.
• Word count
• Genre
• Brief bio

How do you outline your plot?
• Who is the protagonist?
• What dilemma does he face?
• Important plot twists?
• How does it get resolved?

If you introduce a ton of peripheral characters that aren’t key in explaining the plot, you’re going to lose me. This is a lot like Dragnet; just the facts, m’am.

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Trends? Audience? Shoot Me Now

October 17, 2006

This comment from Chris came to me in reference to my posting about knowing one’s audience while writing your novel. It’s very insightful, and I wanted to give it special attention.

“One nit that I want to pick is what seems to be the pervasive attitude in a lot of entertainment industries: namely, the following of trends. You can’t walk into a bookstore without seeing at least a dozen Davinci Code knockoffs.”

This is very true, and I sympathize with your frustration. It’s insulting to see such a dearth of new ideas. It seems that the only thing invading the market is imitation. But it makes big money for those who can play the game and set the rules.

The publishing industry consists of The Big Publishers and everyone else. The Big Publishers; Random House, Simon & Schuster, etc. are at the top of the food chain because they have a great deal of money. This blog isn’t big enough to go into how the big houses do business. Suffice it to say that they aren’t about selling literature, but moving product. If you want the inside track on the inner workings, visit the blog of good friend, Jerry Simmons. He is the retired V.P. of sales for Time Warner Books. His book, Inside The Business of Publishing–What Writers Need To Know offers the sometimes hair-raising realities to how the big houses operate.

This leaves everyone else who isn’t a Big House, namely midsize and small indie publishers. We’re reduced to selling a good quality work. Say that we have an author who we feel has created something truly amazing. Our sales people are busy taking preorders from buyers, and word eventually floats back to the big houses. They get wind of a potential rising swell and flood the market with clones. Why? It’s to insure that the smaller publisher doesn’t retain the corner market on a cutting edge novel or idea and to cash in on the trend. This is why you see DaVinci Code clones everywhere. If I never see another Sudoku book, I’ll promise to eat all my vegetables and call my mother more often. Give it a freaking rest already.

“I understand fully what you mean about making sure that you have an audience, but if everyone follows trends, no one will set them. The other problem there is by the time you’ve established what a trend is, you need to write and polish a manuscript before it plays itself out.”

I’m not talking about following trends in your writing. I’m talking about DEFINING them so you won’t fall into the clone trap. It’s sort of like understanding the enemy so you know how to defeat it or at least avoid it.

Trends are two-fold. There’s the trend where lately every adult novel is about the Catholic Church and intrigue or young adult novels with long, goofy names. They’ve hit a formula that’s making big bucks right now. The big houses may want it. I don’t.

There are also prevailing societal trends that can aid writers in defining and shaping their writing: Where are we headed with health care? Racial bias, whether to stay home and raise the kids, etc. This can create a bridge when pitching your story to an editor. Does your story have social value? Many stories don’t have any social message, and that’s fine. But in most of the books where I’ve read for the pure joy of entertainment, there was always an underlying element of social value, no matter how small. Figure out what yours is.

Writers who don’t keep an eye on their potential readership can’t define their audience. This puts them at risk of writing about topics that few would find of interest. A guy who makes his living by selling egg whites to Peruvian monks probably isn’t going to have a large audience.

I receive a lot of query letters that state “everyone would love my book.” Great. I don’t have “everyone” in my Rolodex. Neither do our sales force. However, we do have AIDS foundations, Procrastinators Anonymous, AARP, medical community, holistic healers, etc. in our Rolodexes. Who is your audience?

“At this point, it takes me twenty months to come up with something that I’m proud to submit. Unfortunately, that will leave me in the dust, unless somehow I can anticipate what the publishing industry will want that far down the road. All I can do is stay true, believing that what I’ve done resonates, and hope that I wind up at the right place at the right time.”

You can’t possibly know where the trends are going to be two weeks from now let alone twenty months. Much of it does come down to timing and being in the right place at the right time. But like any endeavor, it’s wise to do your homework. Be smart, be aware, research the industry, and, most importantly, write.

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Posted by lynnpricewrites

Know Your Audience Before You Write

October 17, 2006

Opinions are like bellybuttons; everybody has one. One opinion that tends to rear its head on occasion is the, “Forget about the audience, genre, or category, and focus on the writing.” While I agree with this in spirit, the realities are far different from my side of the submissions desk. Many submissions I see indicate that too many writers followed this advice, and the result is that their work is out of touch with the marketplace. No audience; no sale.

Big Authors are particularly fond of the focus statement. One has to keep in mind that they have the luxury of saying this because they happened to stumble upon an idea that was hot or created a niche – like the rash of lawyer books. For every Big Author that stumbles brilliantly are thousands of authors who recieve a rejection letter stating that there isn’t an audience for their work. It’s my belief that writers need to pay serious attention to their potential audience to determine if they’ll even have one. It’s a matter of increasing the odds of publication.

Most writers aren’t savvy to the publishing world, and this is a fatal mistake. Researching the industry, understanding audience trends and genre go hand in hand in my way of thinking. When I have to tell a writer that I can’t sell his story, (and this is based on the opinions of my submissions team and my distributor’s sales force) they’re shocked. They have no clue because they didn’t do their market research.

I’m not saying that a writer shouldn’t focus primarily on their writing, because, as a writer, I most certainly do. But can also tell you that, personally, I keep one eye cast on readership trends and American social events to see whether my book has the potential to grow wings in my particular genre. Because of this, it makes my pitch that much stronger.

I know that opinions are subjective, but I believe that a writer can’t afford to stick their head in the sand and just write, hoping to luck out and pin the tail on the donkey. It’s the difference between writing a story that no one wants to buy or tweaking it in order to make it saleable.

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Behind the desk of a mad woman

October 17, 2006

As I’ve stated in prior posts, writing rejection letters isn’t one of the highlights of my day. Be they the dreary form rejection or a more personalized one that includes detailed critiques, I dislike the task. Why? Because, as a writer myself, I realize the blood and sweat people have poured into their works. Rejection blows. It’s seeing in black and white that you didn’t make the cut for one reason or another.

Out of twenty five submissions that I reviewed today, every one of them were rejected. All of them fell into several categories:
1. The writer failed to look at the submission guidelines. This is the single most aggravating category of all and makes me want to scream from the building with my hair on fire. I make the assumption that if someone is submitting, they know how to read.

Why on God’s green earth would anyone blithely submit without knowing if the publisher actually accepts their genre? It’s as silly as my going to the gas station and telling Flavio, my favorite gas attendant, that I’d like a Big Mac and an order of fries. First thing out of his gum-chewing mouth would be, “Ya dumb broad, you can’t get a Big Mac and fries here. Quit wasting my time.” Duh. Well, guess what? You can’t get short stories, cookbooks, action adventure, or children’s books here.

Please, please, please, don’t be a twit; check before you submit. Yeah, I realize it’s schlocky, but if you saw the number of submissions that have abso-freaking-lutely nothing to do with our submission parameters, well, you’d be a tad loopy, too.

2. Failure to launch. This includes those writers who don’t do enough reading. Because of this oversight, their plots are formulaic. They write about topics that have been done a gazillion times, and there’s nothing new under their thesaurus. This would include the woman married to the bum, drinker, gambler, cheater, workaholic, and they seek their own identity. Unless this has a unique twist to the story, please rethink your message. No one likes eating vanilla ice cream all the time (well, okay, my husband does – go figure), and people need to be given exciting, new flavors to maintain their interest; even if it’s working on a formula.

3. Plot, plot, who stole the plot? This is a biggie, and one I see most of the time. Query letters are filled with, “XYZ thought my book was hard-hitting,” or “I’m the next Tom Clancy.” You may very well be the next Tom Clancy. But if you spend most of your time telling me you are, then my first inclination is to doubt you. Besides, I don’t really care at the moment. The only thing that’s going to blow me out of my chair is a great plot, so get on with telling me what it is, not what you are. I see a number of query letters that contain no plot. They explain all sorts of things; the MC’s personality quirks, sub plots, other characters.

Your query letter and synopsis is not like a Twinkie. I know that when I unwrap a Twinkie, it’s going to taste like a slice of heaven. It’s a known quantity to me. But I don’t know a writer’s story from the tax code, and I have no idea if it’s good or not. Since we agree that I left my psychic hat in my other purse, don’t make me go searching for your plot because I won’t do it. I’ll stumble around for a few paragraphs before giving up. If your antagonist is married and cheating on his wife with your protagonist, then say it in the beginning. Don’t wait until the end of the synopsis where, by this time, I’m wondering why it’s such a big deal that they’re having an affair.

Be clear, be logical, and read it out loud. And don’t worry, I really won’t bite your head off. Much.

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Upcoming Seminars

October 17, 2006

With all the manuscripts that pass over my desk, there is one glaring and frustrating consistency: most writers don’t know how to put forth a proper query and submission. This results in missed opportunities of having their work reviewed.
If a query letter has misspellings or improper use of grammar, is this someone I want to work with? Same goes for the synopsis. If it’s filled with grammatical errors or tells me nothing about the story, you can be certain that I’ll pull out a rejection letter.
I’ve had cover letters arrive lacking pertinent data, such as genre, word count, bio, or they give me a synopsis so vague that I’m unable to figure out what the story is about. Effective communication is key in the query/submission process. My tin foil mind reading hat is woefully broken, and if I can’t make heads or tails out of your synopsis or cover letter, I will toss it.
There have been many opinions as to the submission process. I’ve seen cover letters that were disdainful of the process and practically dared me to reject them for their irreverent manner. Hey, no problem, I’m happy to oblige. They’re someone I don’t want to work with.
Talent and marketability are the only things we’re looking for, but unless you can adequately communicate your storyline in a professional manner, there’s no way I’ll be able to see that talent. Don’t give an editor any other reason to reject you other than your writing doesn’t meet their standards or they’re not the right publisher for your work.
I’ve also seen an alarming number of writers who don’t realize there is a difference between the types of publishing. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve talked to who have signed with a publisher only to discover too late that they weren’t getting what they were expecting. Notice: All publishers are not created equally.
All of my discussions with people have led to a seminar that educates writers to the aspects of querying and submission. I have two upcoming seminars, and anyone is more than welcome to sign up.
“I’ve Written ‘The End’ – Now What?”I will discuss the insider view to what every writer should know before querying and submitting their manuscript.Topics cover:• Different types of publishers• Questions every writer should ask a publisher before they query.• Submission guidelines• Writing a concise, eye-catching synopsis, cover letter, and bio,• Understanding your readership• Promotion plan• Manuscript formatting——————Wednesday, October 18, 7-9pm. South Coast Bear St.Costa Mesa, CA 92626Phone: ——————Tuesday, November 14, 7-9 pm.Borders71800 Highway 111Rancho Mirage, CA 92270Phone:
*Space is limited to 40, so be sure to reserve your spot in plenty of time.

February 6,7
Changing Hands
6428 S McClintock Dr
Tempe, AZ 85283

*If you have any questions or want further details, feel free to email me at [email protected]

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Special people deserve special thanks

October 17, 2006

The scheduling for our upcoming Behler reading in New York on November 2-4 is going like gangbusters. The success is due solely to the indefatigable efforts of our chief editor, Kristan Ryan, and our marketing strategist, Joanna Reed. Ladies, take a bow and accept your Woo Hoo Award.
We have 17 participating authors who will be spread around Manhattan and Brooklyn reading and selling at places such as the KGB Bar, YMCA, Barnes and Noble, etc. Kristan told me that wherever they’ve queried, venues have rushed forward to book us. Hey, who says New York is snobbish to non New York publishers? I find it wonderful and enriching myself. We plan on inviting all the local reviewers and media to attend the various events.
Keeping the fingers crossed, but we’re also trying to plan a writer’s seminar that would include Kristan, myself, and Jerry Simmons, retired V.P. of Marketing and Sales for Time/Warner Books. If Kristan and Joanna can get this planned as well, I’ll be forced to mail them crowns and scepters. Ah, I just may do it anyway.

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Posted by lynnpricewrites

“You are such a jerk!”

October 17, 2006

There are times when I want to invite writers to sit in my chair for one day. Today is one of those days. I just received a seething diatribe from a writer who was disappointed that we didn’t accept their work for further review. My first, second and third reaction is to shake my head at their unprofessional attitude.

Of course it hurts to have your work rejected. No editor is immune to the fact that what comes off their fingertips is going to make an impact to someone on the other side of that letter. There are any number of reasons why a work is rejected. It may not be suitable for the publisher, or it may be that the writing is inferior. Whatever the reason, the thing NOT to do is write a scathing reply to the editor.

I have a running memory of my favorite “go stuff yourself” lines. My favorites are
• “your going to regret not taking my work becuz Im a great writer.” Okayyy.
• “You wouldn’t recognize talent if it bit you on your nose.” No, probably not. Manuscripts don’t normally bite.
• “How dare you critique my writing? Did I ask for you to critique me?” Well, no, you didn’t. I thought you’d appreciate a freebie rundown on why I didn’t feel your work met publishable standards. My mistake.

Apart from a lack of time, this also highlights why many writers don’t receive personalized critiques. I’ve had many write back to me asking why I didn’t provide feedback on their work. The above comment is why. This turns into a “hanged if you do, hanged if you don’t” issue. To make it easy, we send out form rejections. However, I will say that if I read your entire manuscript and it gets rejected, you’ll get a very detailed critique of why I couldn’t accept it. My feeling is that if you’ve made it that far to get me to read your work, you had something I thought was worth investigating.

My all time favorite “go stuff yourself” line is
• “Your head is so far up your ass that you can read the expiration date on your spleen.” I replied that had he written with this much passion, he’d be staring at a contract instead of a rejection.

One last bit of advice for those who are tempted to put us in our place – editors are like elephants – we never forget a name. We may have the attention span of a gnat and the personality of a box of Twinkies, but we never, ever forget a name. I’ve had people who queried me three years ago, and I still remembered their names if they query me again. Editors also have achingly loose tongues when they’re together. Just be sure that your name isn’t among those who get flung around the table.

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Posted by lynnpricewrites

Put your best face forward

October 17, 2006

The effort to achieve visual notice for your books begins with a great book cover. Why? Because regardless what you may be told, everyone, and I do mean everyone, judges a book by its cover. If it’s unimaginative with recognizable graphics and lousy colors, the book could gather dust. It’s the goal of every publisher to create a cover that will leap into the hands of a customer with an itchy charge card.

If customers and publishers are that anal about cover art, it goes to reason that author websites are no different. Readers love going to author’s websites, especially those whose books they’ve enjoyed. They do this to get to know the author better – what makes him/her tick, motivations for writing their book, pictures of the author trying to crank out ‘Yankee Doodle Dandy’ via their bellybutton, etc. An unattractive site that’s dull, hard to navigate, or has little information is disappointing.

A site doesn’t have to reveal your inner demons (unless that excites you), or your personal life. But it should be a crisp, clean site that is filled with reviews, awards, appearances, an excerpt of your book(s), where your book can be purchased, etc. A terrific example can be seen here. It happens to be one of our authors, but so what? It’s one of the cleanest, most visually stimulating author sites I’ve seen in a long time.

So review your websites. Dust them off if need be. Revamp if necessary. Your website is the face to you and your book. You and your publisher have insured that your book is wearing its Sunday finest, it only goes to reason that your website does as well.

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