I haz a mad

So I get a call from my little post office box guy who tells me I have a package waiting for me. I have an extremely busy day, but not knowing if the package was important or not, I dropped what I was doing to go up and get it.

It was from an author.

He’d sent a book.

He was pitching it to me.

Enter scene where editor commences spurting steam out her ears and uttering words that would make my mother blush.

I quickly scanned the letter and dumped the entire package into to the trash outside the PO. I have a confession to make: I toss every single book that I didn’t request. So like every other author who thinks agents and editors will drop everything they’re doing to read someone’s book – rather than submitting a proper query – he wasted $4.75 plus the price of his vanity book. I wasted my time picking it up.

Was this rude? Maybe. Probably. But what good does it do me to have submission guidelines when some yahoos won’t bother to read them?

I will never stop screeching this: DO NOT DO THIS. PUHLEEZE.

7 Responses to I haz a mad

  1. NinjaFingers says:

    Doesn’t everyone say anything sent that doesn’t abide by their submissions guidelines will be round filed?

  2. Tara Maya says:

    Don’t blame you one bit. How annoying.

  3. You’re assuming people read submission guidelines before ignoring them.

    Or maybe this writer thought he/she was *special* and could break all the rules and break into publishing.

    Here, have a margarita, it’s already happy hour in Australia.

  4. Becky Mushko says:

    Darn! I wish you’d brought the package back to the office, rubbed it with hamburger, and handed it to the beagle. And then posted a picture of what the beagle did to it.

  5. The beagle is on to me and won’t touch vanity pubbed books.

  6. Pelotard says:

    I think it’s much more likely that the author thought this was a unique ploy that Underdrunk and Overslept Editor had never seen before and would be so enchanted by that she’d sit up and read the book all night.

    Sad, innit?

  7. Sad indeed, Pelo. Next time, the beagle picks up the mail.

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