Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear…

February 27, 2007


I received this nugget this morning:

I am looking for someone that would like to publish my book. If you are not interested, I would love it if you can forward this letter to someone you think might be interested, and please let them know.
Thank you,
Oblivious QuillPusher.

I have attached a finish copy of my book, here, for you. Thank you.

(Name and address inserted here)

P.S. Please do not email me back, I hardly ever answer my emails on a regular basis, fax, or mail, is the best way to get a hold of me, thank you.

I’ve belabored this point before, but good gogly mogly, things like this just hurt the heart. We joke about this type of thing, but the truth of the matter is that it’s really no laughing matter. This guy was serious. At least I’m fairy certain he was. The manuscript was as painful to read as his “cover letter.” My eyes bled.

Why, why, why do people do this? Why would they put effort into their work – no matter how poorly written – only to act like third graders? I realize that it’s a wide, crazy world out there, but I happen to take my work very seriously. Is it too much to ask that writers do the same?

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Posted by lynnpricewrites

Was It Something I Said?

February 8, 2007


I had the pleasure and honor of giving a very successful writer’s seminar last night at Changing Hands Bookstore in Tempe, Arizona. I have a section where I discuss the What Not To Do. At the top of that list (and I’ve discussed it elsewhere on this blog) is that you never, never, never cuss out the editor or agent for rejecting you. As personal as it is for the writer, it isn’t for the editor. We don’t wish ill of anyone, we don’t want to crush anyone’s spirit. We simply have a job to do, and rejections are a part of the job. To highlight this point, I give you this lovely tome that was waiting for me upon my return from Arizona.

Remember, folks, this is something that you NEVER do.

Clueless Writer’s comments to my rejection letter.

If you’d give this work a chance you’d see that it is quality, not quantity that makes it work plus it is only barely sci fi and is more of a thriller. Dumb ass

Now, normally I delete these missives for the newbie, crybaby tripe that it is. It’s simply not worth my time. However, I was feeling saucy this afternoon and directed this back to Mr. Clueless Writer.

Dear Mr. Clueless (not his real name),
Thank you for your kind and thoughtful reply to my rejection of your book. Truly, it’s feedback like this that gives meaning to my otherwise dull life of dealing with talented and earnest writers who understand the publishing industry. I’m grief stricken at our unreasonable submission guidelines that are so prominently displayed on our website…you know the one I’m talking about – where it says minimum word count of 50,000 words and that we are seeking works of personal journeys. It was good of you to understand that those guidelines are for everyone else and not you.

Your genteel insinuation that I failed to find the brilliance of your mere 27,000 words confirms my unending idiocy. Even though you said your “novel” was science fiction – a genre we regrettably don’t accept – I should have known that it was more of a thriller (a genre we also, regrettably don’t accept) even though you failed to mention this in your incomplete and poorly written synopsis.

Your insightful observations leave me wondering whether I’m truly qualified to be the editorial director of this company. Perhaps the Publisher’s Weekly reviews are what validate your accusations of my shortcomings. No, it’s more than likely the Kirkus review. I will consider that the culprit was the full page fabulous review in The Writer magazine or the Bloomsbury Review. Or was it our award winning books that gave you pause as to my abilities? I could see where the Library Journal reviews would push anyone over the edge.

At any rate, I bow before your generosity and thank you kindly for taking time out of your busy day to point out my miserable failings. Yours is a name I won’t forget, and I’ll be certain to let all my editor and agent friends know of your special gifts so that they may also benefit from your kindness. I’m in therapy now and am hopeful that my distributor, sales teams, editing team, friends and family will be supportive.

Yours in gratitude,
Lynn Price
Editorial Director
Behler Publications

[email protected]
www.behlerpublications.com

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Posted by lynnpricewrites

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