Good Gogley Mogley – East Fifth Bliss goes to the Silver Screen

July 31, 2009

eastfifthbliss_benfranklinI just found out that one of our books, East Fifth Bliss, is being made into a movie. The star, Michael C. Hall from the dark and addictive Showtime TV show, Dexter, is my new best love and the absolute perfect actor to play the hapless Morris Bliss.

East Fifth Bliss is about Morris Bliss, a 35-year-old whose picture should be next to the dictionary entry of “procrastination.” His life goes comically into the toilet when he starts an awkward affair with the 18-year-old daughter of a former high school classmate. I found myself covering my eyes with each new disaster, while holding my sides from laughing so hard. You can read my full review here.

Douglas Light, the achingly talented author, won a gold medal in the fiction category at the Benjamin Franklin Awards in 2007, and I can attest that his book deserved every accolade it received that wonderful night at the award ceremony.

Douglas3Truly one of my all-time favorite books. I’m so excited I just may have to blow off the rest of my day. Douglas, my hat is off to you. It couldn’t have happened to a nicer man or a more talented author.

7 Comments | authors who rock my world, East Fifth Bliss | Permalink
Posted by lynnpricewrites

There’s no crying in publishing

July 30, 2009

Of late, I’ve had a spate of whiny emails from authors who were hurt over my comments about their manuscripts.  To offer some perspective, most editors don’t offer critiques after reading a full. They either say yay or nay via form rejection letter. My feeling is, if I’ve gotten to the full manuscript stage – meaning I liked the query and their first thirty pages – then I owe the author a reason as to why it didn’t work for me.

I don’t give feedback in order to invite an ongoing dialog where the author can tell me where I’m wrong in my assessment and, oh by the way, the quality of my critiques sucks stale Twinkie cream. I don’t need to be lectured about how I should have said something nice [which I really try to do], and have the author tell me my crits weren’t constructive. And I reeeeally don’t want to ever hear this, “how are negative comments supposed to make me grow as a writer?” Oh, the horror. Are they kidding? Beagle, warm up the blender.

Folks, there is no crying in publishing. You take your licks, and whatever sobbing you do is done in private. You don’t go crying back to the agent or editor, or someone who critiqued your work and tell them they hurt your little feelings.

Authors must take care of their insecurities on their own time and on their own dime. When I’ve spent hours reading a full, I’m fulfilling my professional duty as editorial director of a publishing company, and the last thing I expect to encounter is an author who has the maturity level of a string bean.  I can guar-an-tee that I won’t  stop the publishing train to whup out a box of Kleenex.

I know this sounds harsh, but geez,  do people cry to their banker if he refuses to grant a loan and tell him he hurt their feelings? Do they bawl in front of their boss when he their report isn’t fit to send to the homeless guy down the block? No, they suck it up and behave like a professional.

If you feel the need to be spoon-fed a critique in a specific style and manner, then I submit that you aren’t ready to play with the big kids yet ‘cos there is no crying in publishing.

8 Comments | authors behaving badly, critique, ego | Permalink
Posted by lynnpricewrites

Doin’ the Promotion Choo-Choo – off site events

July 30, 2009

This comes from Gutsy Writer – a lovely woman who not only makes me laugh but bought me lunch.

Two months ago I attended a PR presentation by Kate Schwab in Ventura. She mentioned that the most successful book signings are no longer in book stores but where the author ties his book in with other local businesses. For example, with my memoir and contacts, I should focus on book signings at a Caribbean themed restaurant, or coffee house with reggae music, or a travel agent promoting Belize travel, and promote other businesses along with my book. Have any of your authors held events similar to these? …Starshine Roshell, who’s a columnist for the Santa Barbara Independent, held her book signing in an art gallery with donated cupcakes and balloons related to her book: “Keep Your Skirt On.”

The tradition of booktore author events has been evolving for the past number of years. Many bookstores have stopped hosting author events because there is no guarantee people will show up – hence my post about that very issue.

It takes time to plan a book event. The store has to order the books, get them logged into their system, print up posters, advertise, set up the author space with a table and a couple chairs. If few people show up, the event becomes a losing venture for them and they must return all unsold books – hopefully keeping a couple signed copies for the store – and taking down the author area.

After a while, it’s not worth it. Bookstores hold events to draw a crowd into their store and to support the author. Over the years, crowds have dwindled, and bookstores have changed some of their tactics regarding events. There is an excellent interview with Gayle Shanks – owner of Changing Hands Bookstore and president of American Booksellsers Association -  in my book, The Writer’s Essential Tackle Box, where she talks about this very issue. Gayle, like many bookstore owners, want to see a list of people the author has invited – or they charge an event fee. This puts the onus on the author to ensure there is a crowd.

You’re probably wondering why stores are doing this. Got time for a wee history lesson? Time was, authors had the full support of their publishers, and their PR people contacted the stores to set everything up. They worked to alert people in the city where the author would be appearing in order to draw people into the event. Budgets decreased and those PR and marketing dollars were reserved for the big ticket authors. This made it tougher on authors because they didn’t know the first thing about doing their own promotion.

With the advent of POD and vanity presses, there is a larger body of authors who know even less about the industry and how to properly promote an upcoming event. The bookstores can’t shoulder that responsibility because it isn’t cost effective. Hence their new parameters of providing a list or paying a fee. This separates the wheat from the chaff pretty darn fast.

In the effort to create a different kind of splash, authors have taken to holding book events elsewhere. I think it’s an awesome idea. I’ve held book events for Donovan’s Paradigm at hospitals and had a blast. Adam Eisengerg, brilliant, handsome author of A Different Shade of Blue is planning events at various cities’ police museums. Kristan Nelson, talented author of the achingly sweet The Hair Princess and the Hog Temple Incident, held a fabulous event at a hair salon.

So the idea of going elsewhere for an event can produce some terrific publicity, but depending on where you’re holding the event, the amount of work can put the author six feet underground. Kristan Nelson, for instance, nearly croaked for all the effort put into that one event – even though it was wildly successful. Authors can’t maintain that kind of inertia, yet promoting the book is vital.

On the other hand, doing events at the hospitals was a cinch because they were held in the cafeteria. Docs and nurses came down there for their lunch breaks, and there I was with a medical fiction sitting on my table. It was a no-brainer and took very little of my few firing synapses to plan. Adam, I’m sure will be in the same boat, since the police museums have everything there to set up the event. I’d be willing to bet they’d even spring for the refreshments and do some advertising.

So the trick to off site events is to work smart, plan smart. Make sure that the venue is excited about hosting the event. The more enthused they are, the more willing they’ll be to help and maybe provide the yummies.

How Do I Get a Venue Excited About Hosting Me?

For years I’ve been eyeing this adorable little bar/restaurant that’s no bigger than my bathroom. It’s weency, but its brick walls and intimate atmosphere reminds me of one of those cool places you see in New York, where everyone sits around listening to people read their works while drinking fussy little drinks and eating veggie crackers. I would give the beagle’s supply of tequila to have an event there. The question is; they already have a great gig going, so what do I have to offer? What do I bring to the party that will entice them to hosting an event?

And that’s the crux to having an off site event. You always have to make the owner of the venue feel like it’s advantageous to host your event – that there is something special in it for them. After all, benevolence is a great thing, but it can be in short supply when you have bills to pay.

Tattoo this to your forehead:  “What can I do for you?”

I have to come up with a compelling pitch to this adorable little restaurant. We’re writers, so we are all used to playing the pitch game, right?

Entice
Provide a benefit
Create a need

So my thoughts are for an “Author Night.” We can go one of two ways; [giving an owner options is always a good idea]. The first option could be to charge one flat fee at the door. $20 would buy the customer a book and a free drink or hors d’œuvre. Of course, that wouldn’t be enough, so the customer may decide to order dinner, or something more. This is a win for the owner. The second option is that customers would receive a discounted something or other off the menu upon purchase of the book. The manager can decide on the discount. Another win for the owner.

The idea is to entice the manager with the idea that hosting this event would be good for business. The other idea is to offer customers a benefit so they’ll attend the event. He’s going to be very happy to advertise this. In the meantime, I’m also contacting my core readership about the event as well.

Yes, this initial planning takes some time and thought. But you would have been working on your list of core readers anyway, right? The initial pitch can be converted any number of ways to fit the particular venue. If I decide to have an event at a gas station, my pitch to the manager would basically be the same, and I’d substitute discounted food off the menu for a discounted can of oil. The pitch is written to be interchageable. The intent is to keep as much stress off you, the author.

If you’re too stressed, you’re gonna burn out. But if you plan smart and work smart, you’ll find that these offsite venues are a total blast. I’ve seen some huge events where people were standing in the doorway. Because of the incentives the venue provided – be it discounted food or cans of oil – there is little doubt that a bookstore could have commanded that kind of attendance.

Sorry for the hideously long post, but it’s my aim to help authors be as successful as they can be, and thinking outside the box is a sure way to capture someone’s attention. Hope this helps!

And Gutsy, lunch is on me next time.

Leave a Comment » | book events, promotion | Permalink
Posted by lynnpricewrites

A buffet of this and that

July 29, 2009

I’m busy reading pages for the Alaska Writer’s Conference pitch sessions, so I didn’t have time to finish my post. Instead I have a little buffet of goodies.

Going Beyond the Call of Duty

Agent extraordinaire Kristin Nelson takes first prize in the Cool Agent Of All Time by going beyond the call of duty. She took her client white-water rafting. The pictures are hysterical, and I do hope Kristin demanded heavy alcohol afterwards.

It seems her author is one of those hands-on writers who and need to touch, feel, taste in order to write. Since Kristin lives in Colorado, the adventure was in the bag, bless her generous soul. I can dig it; I spent seventeen bug-filled days in the Peruvian Amazon with a volunteer medical team because I’m equally hands-on in my writing. But I didn’t drag my agent along for the ride. There would have been blood spilled, arrests made, abject humiliation, and jail time, fer shure.

Way to Hook Me, Dude

The best reason that I can offer for consideration of the work is contained in paragraph No. 5 of the query letter

If ya want me to read your query, ’tis best to grab me a whole lot sooner than the fifth paragraph. The first line is an excellent place to start.

Another word about book events and the impact of reaching out

As I mentioned in my previous post about contacting your core audience, I felt compelled to share just what a huge impact this can make. Stan Chambers, Los Angeles news icon and author of KTLA’s News At Ten – Sixty Years With Stan Chambers has done a gazillion events, and all of them were very well attended because he’s so well known around these here parts. But the book has been out for a year and a half, and we’ve pretty much soaked the bookstores. One of his adorable kids decided to have an intimate book event at his and his wife’s bakery.

Intimate equates to small in my pea-sized brain, and I figured if Stan’s son is going drag Stan all the way down to San Diego, then we’re gonna make it count. I think his son was unsure how many people knew Stan down south, so he didn’t order many books – which probably would have been fine had I not elbowed my way in. Heck, it’s my job, right?

But Stan also has something very big going for him – besides his icon status; he’s an alumni of USC (University of Southern California), and those folks are like the beagle hot on the trail of a margarita. They support all their fellow Trojans (keep the snide comments to yerself, thankyouverymuch) like none other. I had our publicity guru contact all the San Diego USC alumni groups and tell them about Stan’s upcoming event.

We didn’t quite know what to expect, but we immediately received responses of excitement and were blind copied on the emails they sent out to hundreds of their members. So what was originally going to be a nice, quiet affair is going to be a bust-down-the-doors-and-git-me-a-book event. I suggested to Stan’s son that he may want to buck up on his bakery goods that day. I’m also bringing down a lot more books.

So you see, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out an angle that will create interest in attending an event. A lack of imagination is something I see most of the time when it comes to promotion – which is weird when you stop to think about it. After all, your imagination created a published book, so why stop at The End? Heck, it’s just the beginning. At least that ‘s what Stan believes.

Leave a Comment » | book events, query | Permalink
Posted by lynnpricewrites

Adjective-itis

July 28, 2009

The little manuscript shuffled in and plopped itself down in Overworked and Undpaid Editor’s chair. Overworked and Underpaid Editor let her glasses slip down her nose to observe the forlorn expression of the manuscript, now wet with tears and a snuffly nose. Indeed, it looked as though it had been through the wringer.

Little Manuscript: I’m exhausted.

Overworked and Underpaid Editor: I can see that.

Little Manuscript: Do I need an appointment? I’m in a terrible way and need to be checked over. I just got rejected again, and I’ve lost count as to how many that makes.

Overworked and Underpaid Editor: [pulling out her trusty red pen] Do you mind? I need to diagnose your problem. It’ll only hurt for a minute. Pinky swear.

Little Manuscript: Ow, ow, ow. Gentle!

Overworked and Underpaid Editor: Sorry, but your little pages are pretty singed in places. What happened here? Did you have a major fire?

Little Manuscript: Oh, it wasn’t just any fire, it was a raging inferno, crackling, hissing, and taking no prisoners.

Overworked and Underpaid Editor: [flipping the pages] Ah yes, I see the problem. You have a bad case of Adjective-itis. Terrible stuff.

Little Manuscript: But I thought adjectives were the good guys.

Overworked and Underpaid Editor: Well, yes they are, but they can also create reader overload if they’re gunked together. let’s go back to first base, shall we? Adjectives describe or modify another person or thing in the sentence. The dumb beagle. A drunkard beagle. The useless beagle. These are adjectives that describe my excuse of a secretary.

Adjectives are fine in and of themselves but, just like the beagle’s margaritas, one can over-imbibe. Here, let me use one of your passages to point out what I mean:

The woman climbed out her rusty red jeep and dusted off her muddy threadbare pants. She looked at the blood-red moon sitting in the partly clouded sky and drew her rough-hewn wool jacket closely around her tired, rounded shoulders. Calloused hands held a dirty map, and she shivered in the freezing night, worried that her insane tour guide would notice the map was missing from his filthy, waterlogged backpack.

Gah! There are enough adjectives in this mess to choke a donkey. You have 69 words in that paragraph and 14 adjectives.

Little Manuscript: But I wanted to give the reader a mental picture of the setting.

Overworked and Underpaid Editor: Well you did that and a bag of potato chips. You barfed description all over the place, and the result is that my brain is on sensory overload that feels like you rammed down my throat with a pitchfork.

Ok, I’ll admit that this paragraph isn’t really that horrible, but an entire manuscript written like this is going to make some poor editor throw herself under a bus. You have to keep in mind that adjectives are delicate little flowers and shouldn’t be asked to do more work than they should – which is what you did in that paragraph.You also used adjectives where none were really needed. A rewrite would be able to knock many of those out and enrich your story.

Don’t forget that you have a whole host of strong helpers, like verbs and nouns to help round out your writing. Let them shoulder the hard work of description. And for Pete’s sake, don’t use those fluffy lily-pants adjectives like beautiful, lovely, fascinating, or interesting because they don’t really say anthing. It’s telling, not showing – which is a whole other diagnosis.

The reason this manuscript doesn’t work is because you wrote it in the same manner, and it has this ka-thunk cadence to it. It’s as if you wrote the paragraph and tossed some adjectives in front of the nouns and called it descriptive prose – which it is. But it’s also clunky. Here, let’s try it again, shall we?

The woman climbed out her rusty red jeep and dusted the mud off her threadbare pants. The night air cooled with the setting sun, and she was suddenly grateful for the jacket whose rough wool made her cringe when she’d bought it at in the bazaar earlier that day. She was exhausted from the long trip and still faced hours of driving before she could rest. Lost, she squinted at the map she stole from her tour guide after he fell asleep in a drunken haze. What could she do? The six inch knife he kept waving in her face convinced her that his mind had snapped, especially when he insisted she’d brought bad luck to his village. It was either steal the map and the jeep, or stick around and have her throat slit while she slept. The moon offered little in the way of light as she tried reading the map through the flecks of dirt and water stains.

Little Manuscript: [sobbing] Oh GOD! That is so much better! I’m-I’m terminal, aren’t I? Am I going to die?

Overworked and Underpaid Editor: Of course not. But we must operate immediatly with a sharp scalpel and wicked red pen. See, the reason this new paragraph works is because I created excitement and interest. I showed instead of told, and I utilized my stronger buddies, those verbs and nouns to do the heavy lifting. Lastly, I didn’t go all forumla on you; I mixed up the style, which forced me to reveal more information – which made it more interesting.

Little Manuscript: Oh, surgery would be great. Thank you! Oh, how sweet, that beagle just brought in a pitcher of margaritas to calm my nerves.

Overworked and Underpaid Editor: Oh, that’s not for you. It’s for me. We have a policy around these parts; beagles don’t let editors write sober. Now just lie down; this won’t hurt a bit.

4 Comments | writing | Permalink
Posted by lynnpricewrites

Book events – how can I foresee a crowd?

July 27, 2009

This question has been asked by several people in relation to my sniffing glue post. Hmm…that came out weird, didn’t it? Anyway, my recommendation in that post was to warn your editor and the bookstore manager about the size crowd you’re expecting so they have enough books on hand.

The question is “how do we know who’s coming?” Most authors don’t know, and this is dicey because I’ve seen some disastrous events and some incredible events. In both instances, the outcomes were a complete surprise. But it doesn’t have to be a surprise or a boggle.

Remember how I always bleat about taking control of your outcome? Well, this is one of those cases where you can either come in armed to the teeth or be a hapless willow in the wind because it’s all about being a good Girl Scout and being prepared. Being prepared means that you’re finally utilizing all that work you did ‘way back when you were writing your query. I’m talking about identifying your readership. Now that you have a book, you’re going to alert your defined readership that you have arrived and to come hear you roar.

How do I do this?
Whenever I do a seminar or an author’s talk for Tackle Box at a bookstore, regardless of whether it’s in my area or out of town, I always contact the local writers groups to advertise my appearance because they are my core audience. But I don’t stop there. I give them reasons why they should want to attend.

This is an important key because you’re giving them a compelling reason for attending. The idea of “this is what I can do for you” creates desire because, hey, we all want to be better, right? My emails are short and sweet, and I use bullet points to highlight what I have to offer. Here’s an example:

Dear Blippity Blah Blah:
I will be appearing at Marvelous Wonderful Bookstore on Anyday, 2009, and I wanted to invite you and your members to hear me speak on a variety of topics, which are based on my book The Writer’s Essential Tackle Box [put your website link here]. This book was written to give authors an inside peek behind our desks to see how we think, why we think the way we do, and dispelling the myth as to whether we really think at all.  I’ll be talking about:

“I’ve Written ‘The End’ – Pass Me the Maalox”
• The Hook – what is it, and what does it do?
• Writing your Synopsis – “Oh God!”
• Elements that go into writing a no-snooze cover letter
• Submission guidelines – pay attention!
• Making your writing recession-proof by understanding your readership
• Promotion plan – whaddya mean I have to promote?
• Manuscript formatting

Three things writers will learn on Saturday:
1. They will learn details what editors are looking for in the submission process.
2. They will learn the elements that go into creating a short but detailed query letter.
3. The will learn the importance of understanding marketplace and the fallacy behind “If I write it, they will come.”

Thank you for your time, and I hope to see you there!

I tell the event manager or the store manager what promotional efforts I’ve done and how many groups I contacted. This serves as a two-fold advantage; one is that they adore me because they see I’m busting my hump to ensure a good crowd turnout. The second is that if I’m busting my hump, chances are they will, too. I’ve had managers take out ads in the paper and put the handouts I provided next to the cash registers. I’m showing them that I believe in what I’m doing, and it creates a domino effect to where they get caught up in the excitement.

I always get emails back stating that they’ll pass the message along to their membership. It’s at this time that I can begin to gauge how many people will show up, and I tell the event manager the feedback I’ve gotten so they’ll order enough books. Even if I haven’t received feedback, the fact that I’ve contacted roughly 100 people (including their membership), the law of averages usually bears out a high attendance rate. This is important information for the store manager so they’ll order enough books.

Ok, I hear you you chortling saying, yah, nice try, Pricey, but I write fiction – one of the hardest audiences to define. Hey! So do I. Medical fiction. And you know what? The steps are no different.

[log line intro]
A spilled dinner brings two surgeons together:
Erik Behler is searching for more than the end of a scalpel
Kim Donovan, fresh from residency, seeks to change the face of medicine in a radical way

A fateful medical convention nearly tears them apart.
Donovan’s Paradigm is everything that happens in between

Dear Blippity Blah Blah,
I will be appearing at Marvelous Wonderful Bookstore on Anyday, 2009, and I wanted to invite you and your members [clinic, medical students] to hear me speak on a variety of medical topics, which are based on my award winning book Donovan’s Paradigm [http://behlerpublications.com/titles-price.shtml]. I wrote Donovan’s Paradigm to give readers an inside peek behind the white curtain to see the humanity of the two surgeons who struggle to balance their personal belief systems with the treatment of their patients. I’ll be discussing:

Do you think the medical community’s belief systems influence and impact the way they treat their patients?
•    Religion – does religion play a role in whether a doctor will recommend a particular treatment?
•    Alternative medicine – could this be the next wave in medicine? Where do you see yourself in this controversial idea? Is it woo or is there some validity?
•   Personal devastation – do personal problems affect a doctor’s ability to do his job?

This guarantees to invite some lively discussion and a fair amount of, “geez, I never thought about it that way.”  I hope to see you there!

This email has gone to local nurses groups, junior college nursing programs, university medical schools, and clinics. These folks are my core readership. I alert the bookstores to the groups I’ve contacted and given them a general idea how many people I think may show up. They, in turn, ensure there are enough books, put up posters, and put the handouts next to the cash register. I’m busting my tushie, and they support me every way they can.

Check before you schedule

Not every bookstore will put out, so it’s important to check to see how much they are willing to support you before you schedule an event with them. They may love you for all your efforts, but their shrinking budgets may preempt advertising and promotion. It seems pretty lame to me. If they see a proactive author who feels they can bring in around fifty people, then it makes sense to support them every way they can. After all, the more people traipsing into the store, the higher the chances are that those customers will buy something. Duh. The realities are that few authors go to these lengths to guarantee a successful event, so bookstores shy away from debut authors. It’s your job to prove them wrong!

The End Result

The happy problem with a successful event is that the store will want you to come back. This happened with Adam after both his events. Both stores wanted him to come back anytime. And why not? He’s proven himself to be a proactive author and one the stores feel worth promoting in the future. They will also be sure his book remains on their shelves, and they will be far more likely to recommend his book to their customers. This is how seeds are planted.

So the next time you plan out your upcoming events, keep in mind that it’s not just about a couple hours out of one evening, but making an impact that will spread like the beagle’s waistline after one of her famous taco dinners.

7 Comments | book events | Permalink
Posted by lynnpricewrites

Thinking outside the box

July 25, 2009

I admit this has squat all to do with writing, but I just came back from my niece’s wedding in Alabama, so I’m in wedding mode. I’m pretty sure my brother would have stroked out had my niece suggested this entrance:

2 Comments | Uncategorized | Permalink
Posted by lynnpricewrites

Prologue abuse

July 24, 2009

There is often a lot of confusion about prologues and the service they perform in books. As an editor who doesn’t mind prologues, I thought I’d give my two cent’s worth as to what flips my Vickie Secrets.

A prologue, as defined by Dictionary.com is:

“a preliminary discourse; a preface or introductory part of a discourse, poem, or novel.”

This is important to remember because I’ve seen many prologues over the years that don’t come anywhere close to this definition. A prologue is the beginning of your book, so it should never be a head-scratcher.

Raison d’être: The first order of business is to determine whether a prologue is even appropriate. Just like everything else in your story, your prologue should have a reason for being there. What I find is that most prologues don’t serve any purpose, or they’re info dumps, and that’s why so many readers tend to skip them and most editors tend to scream.

I look for prologues to contain information that absolutely cannot be put anywhere else and is integral to fully understanding the plot. For me, there is nothing worse than reading a prologue and saying to the beagle, “Gee, I wonder what that was all about.” If I feel that way, it’s a sure bet readers will as well, and that’s a reaction an editor can ill afford. Logically speaking, it’s not a good idea to open a book with something that doesn’t make sense or lead to a logical place because it won’t sell books. Because of that, any editor worth their salt will either toss a prologue of this nature, or make the author rewrite it.

Many prologues I’ve read have an artistic or philosophical bent that did nothing to create that all-important set-up. Or they teased. Depending on how the teaser is written, this can either hook or irritate. I’m usually irritated.

Logical: I look for prologues that have a beginning, middle, and an end. Something that just hangs there like a wet booger won’t make an impact because it’s incomplete. The ending of your prologue has to make sense. I’ve read prologues that didn’t make any sense until I got to the end of the book. By that time, I’d forgotten it, so whatever impact the author had hoped to make with that prologue was reduced to a dull thud.

Show vs. Tell: Yes, I always yammer on about this little beast, and I do so because there’s so much abuse. I look for prologues that show because these prologues can be elusive enough without adding to the problem. Remember, this is the first face of your book, so a prologue must hook your reader. Tell keeps readers at arm’s length.

Tell: He was angry seeing her again.

Show: His organs singed from the same noxious fumes that burned in his gut every time he saw her.

If you have an entire prologue that’s nothing but tell, readers are going to fall asleep because there are no tactile references that align us with your character and whatever information you’re trying to impart.

Length: I look for prologues to be short and sweet – a couple pages. Many aren’t, and they go on for pages and pages. These shouldn’t be chapter length. If they are, perhaps that is your first chapter – or they need to be edited down with a scalpel.

Tool or Artistry? As I said before, I feel prologues must be essential. If they aren’t then what purpose do they serve? I don’t view them as places where the author should take artistic license or be arbitrary. I view them as a tool. Many authors use prologues as their own private playgrounds that make little sense to their readers, and that’s another reason why many agents and editors abhor them and many readers skip them.

So if you’re inclined to write a prologue, be mindful of your intent and what you’re trying to convey. Otherwise, I have to give them to the beagle for her angry time-out corner.

3 Comments | prologues | Permalink
Posted by lynnpricewrites

Is it too early to start sniffing glue?

July 23, 2009

I love the mornings. They’re normally quiet and I can get a lot done. But not today. My newest star, Adam Eisenberg (A Different Shade of Blue) has a happy problem; his signing last night was so huge that he ran out of books and had to wipe out his own stash, which he wisely stuck in his trunk at the last minute, just in case. It helped but it wasn’t enough, and people had to walk away empty-handed. As a publisher, this made me want to slash my throat.

What happened is the bookstore didn’t order enough copies. Now before we set the beagle to doing her dirty work on store managers everywhere, we have to realize that most debut authors have meager book events and store managers order accordingly. In fact, the manager told Adam that the author who had been there the night before only had eight people show up. They were overwhelmed when their little store was flooded with Adam’s fans.

Adam has another event Friday and is expecting an even larger crowd. He called me in a panic this morning [making me grateful I hadn't decided to hit the gym] because the store didn’t order enough copies, and he ran out of his own stash.

Buh bye peaceful morning. Hurried calls to my distributor were laced with “holy shit” and “shoot me now” as we scurried to figure out how to get books from Point A to Point B. Matters were made worse when the danged bookstore manager didn’t arrive to the store until noon, thus wasting vital tick tocks. Finally an enterprising soul took the bull by the horns and ordered copies from Ingram. Problem is, there aren’t enough. Sure, there are plenty books on their warehouse shelves, but they already shot out the door to other stores who placed orders and the system hasn’t updated yet. This creates a perfect storm because we have no way of knowing what Ingram really has and what’s gone out until we get the reports.

Normally preorders help us gauge how quickly the poo will hit the fan and ensure Ingram has enough books in their warehouse. Mind you, I said usually. In Adam’s case, the dude sorta blew up on all of us, which makes me want to kiss him square on his pie hole. Again, a happy problem to have, but a problem no less.

I’m sharing this so when it comes time for your events that you make sure to let the event planner at the bookstore [and your editor] know if you’re expecting a large crowd to show up. Having fifty people and fifteen books is enough to send anyone for the beagle’s stash of airplane glue, so protect yourself.

In my case, our distributor calls to make sure the stores to make sure they order more books. You, the author, are the superstar and it’s your job to show up, smile, be disarmingly witty and let people fawn over you. It’s our job to drink heavily, fight over the glue, burn the phone lines to make sure our author’s events go off without a hitch. But we gotta know.

In Adam’s case, it was my fault for forgetting to tell him this important piece of information – “how many folks do you expect?” Don’t let this bite you on the tushie. Make sure your editor has an updated event schedule, and include your thoughts on how well-attended the event may be. This will help your editor make sure plenty of books are on hand at Ingram’s warehouse. Now keep in mind that not every publisher’s distributor sales teams call the stores in advance of a signing, so be sure to alert the store manager as well.

If you fail to do this, you just may awaken one day to find your editor strung out on Acme Airplane Glue, an empty pitcher of margaritas, and the beagle in charge of the whole operation.

Edited to add:
Ok, all this was worth it. I just opened up my mail and found this month’s OC Metro Magazine. I tore through to the fabulous review:

Feminists, fans of TV cop shows with female stars, and people interested in cultural transformation will love this book.

Sigh. Adam, I so lurve you.

7 Comments | authors who rock my world, book events | Permalink
Posted by lynnpricewrites

Fragile egos – got what it takes?

July 23, 2009

I shoved the query letter and first five pages across the table to the woman seated across from me. I swear I could see her quaking in her Vickie Secrets, so worried was she about my reaction.  I felt like a schmutz because I could tell from her storyline and writing style that she was nowhere near ready to begin the query process. She’d agreed to buy me lunch in exchange for my comments on her query letter. Yikes. I didn’t know her all that well and envisioned her going postal on me and slashing my bra straps.

“Have you given some thought to a critique group?” I asked. “There are a number of wonderful online groups that can help you finesse your writing.  Or what about a local crit group?”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to work that hard. And besides, I don’t think my ego could take it. I just want to start querying now.”

Dumbfounded, I blinked repeatedly like I had a herd of gnats swimming in my eyes.  “Lemme get this straight. You don’t want to be critiqued because your ego is too fragile, but you’re ready to start querying – an adventure that can leave your ego flopping about like a beached carp. Your thinking is backasswards.”

And so it goes with many writers. The idea of going through a critique group and facing suggested (more than likely warranted) rewrites is too scary, yet they believe they are ready to hop into some of the hottest oil in the biz only to face probable rejection over and over and over again. Talk about the  ego singe of a lifetime. I would just as soon have my eyelashes yanked out with rusty pliers than submit something that hadn’t been critiqued by anyone. I mean, how do you know if you’re any good?

Many writers live on Writer’s Island, and this means that their isolation insulates them from scrutiny and critique, and their first venture out will almost surely be a rejection letter. And it won’t be their last.

I submit that a writer who is afraid their ego can’t handle the analysis of a critique group – be it online or in person – is going to have an equally hard time being rejected continually. They will question what they’re doing wrong – which, ironically enough, they could have learned up front had they joined a crit group.

So when does one shove their ego into their Pravda handbag? The minute one begins to write their story. Writing is a learning and evolutionary process that is made more difficult when the ego is constantly in the way, saying, “oo, oo, stroke me! Love me! Listen to me! Aren’t we just the most wonderful thing in the world?” Since that raspy little ego prevented you from listening to anyone else’s perspective, you have no way of knowing if you’re ready to go out into Query Land with girded loins and a healthy attitude toward rejections.

I’ve done some of my best writing due to crits. Critiques are a lot like listening to your mother. You could take her advice and not go to that party where all the cool people are hanging out because the cops might be called, or you could tell her she’s the most fabo woman in the world for looking out for your safety.

And then sneak out to the party anyway.

4 Comments | ego | Permalink
Posted by lynnpricewrites

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