These jokes were found here.
Q. How many publishers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Three. One to screw it in. Two to hold down the author.
Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions: the publisher who prints everything you write, an agent, or Santa Claus?
A. The agent. The other two indicate you are hallucinating.
Three men: an editor, a photographer, and a journalist are covering a political convention in Miami. They decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says “Normally I would grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant you each one wish.”
The photographer went first. “I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas with no money worries.” The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas.
The journalist went next. “I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean, with no money worries.” The genie granted him his wish and sent him off.
Last, but not least, it was the editor’s turn. “And what would your wish be?” asked the genie.
“I want them both back after lunch,” replied the editor, “the deadline for tomorrow’s newspaper is in ten hours.
Q. What’s the difference between publishers and terrorists?
A. You can negotiate with terrorists.
(thanks, Darlene, for the link!)