Oh, woe is the author who…

…asks rhetorical questions in their query. You know what I’m talking about. The queries that start with,

What would you do if you had a million dollars? Would you give it away, or spend it on buying up Scottish castles? Or would you use it to kill your fifth grade teacher?

Gah. Enough already. Would you open a conversation this way? No? Then don’t do it in a business letter, which is what query letter is. If you insist on playing the rhetorical question game as a query opener, I have two rescue beagles who would love to tear it to shreds.

beagle kittehs speech bubble

5 Responses to Oh, woe is the author who…

  1. NinjaFingers says:

    …don’t tell me something happened to The Beagle that you had to get more?

  2. No, Ninjie, the beagle is fine and dandy…in S. California. Since the beagle really isn’t mine (she belongs to my son), we had to move to Pitts without her. It was vewy lonely until we adopted two rescue beagles. Now I have double the trouble…and snide comments.

  3. NinjaFingers says:

    Ah, so you upgraded. Maybe.

    Then again, Beagles are supposed to come in packs…

  4. tbrosz says:

    How do you feel about queries that start with “when?”

  5. Laura W says:

    “use it to kill your fifth grade teacher” Hahaha. You know, I might actually read a query that asked me that, just because. But I understand what you mean.

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