I rest my case…
I rest my case…
If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be an editor…it’s a lot like this…
So Tuesday’s surgery is O-VER and I am officially bionic in both hips. That means I’ll leap higher, run faster, write snarkier (ohdear), and generally be more insufferable because I’m finally pain free after many years.
Surgery went so well that the doc released me a day early. Upon getting home, I realized the walker was getting in my way, so I tossed it aside and started using the cane instead. Talk about a Tiny Tim moment. Who gets a hip ripped out and has a new one pounded in and doesn’t need a walker for a while? So the walker is back in the garage and the cane is tootling me around now.
But while I was in the hoosgow for a couple days, I never forgot my first love – publishing. Upon coming out of my drug-induced fog in Recovery, I began banging out an email to one of my authors. The nurses started cracking up. I peeled my eyes open and mumbled out a, “What…the job waits for no one.”
One of the nurses kindly wrapped her fingers around mine and suggested my fake keyboard, made up entirely of heating blankets, could hold off for a bit and, perhaps, I could write a real one in a few hours. Guffaw. Truly one of the dumbest things I’ve done in a while. Just don’t call me undedicated.
As seen in the OC Register’s Police Blotter:
Officers were called to the parking lot of the Hurry Up and Drink ‘Em drive-through margarita factory where a woman and beagle were in the process of making serious merry. The woman was wearing a fruit plate special on her head – legally purchased from Soup Plantation – and the beagle was sporting what she claimed as her Halloween costume. We will let readers be the judge.
Officers offered to drive the woman and beagle home, as officers are intimately familiar with the beagle and her group of German Shepherds. The woman was compliant, stating that she and the beagle were celebrating the literary wins of a number of their books. “We’re award winning authors, dontcha know?” she slurred numerous times.
Officers allowed the woman to polish off the last of her margarita before climbing into the police cruiser. She was dropped off at her residence and made numerous promises to get serious with her blog on Thursday. Today, we’re certain she is nursing a headache.
The beagle, however, had other ideas. She was last seen on the back of a Harley Davidson screeching, “Channel the beagle….muhahahaha!”
Anyone knowing the whereabouts of the beagle should call Behler Publications, as she has filing to do.
Rear Butt Covers. I’m highly amused. The beagle is insulted.