More Publishy Humor…

March 16, 2017

…at the expense of my adorable granddaughter. I’m sure my daughter will send out a hit team to hunt me down. In the meantime, yes, dear author…you need to be edited.

File Mar 16, 4 16 51 PM


Everybody Needs an Editor…

August 25, 2016

children on wedding menu

I rest my case…


OK, totally guilty of this…

September 2, 2012

image


For those of you who don’t read submission guidelines…

April 13, 2012

You can't say you weren't warned...


Editing…ah, the life!

April 4, 2012

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be an editor…it’s a lot like this…

 


Who says I’m not dedicated?

December 3, 2011

So Tuesday’s surgery is O-VER and I am officially bionic in both hips. That means I’ll leap higher, run faster, write snarkier (ohdear), and generally be more insufferable because I’m finally pain free after many years.

Surgery went so well that the doc released me a day early. Upon getting home, I realized the walker was getting in my way, so I tossed it aside and started using the cane instead. Talk about a Tiny Tim moment. Who gets a hip ripped out and has a new one pounded in and doesn’t need a walker for a while? So the walker is back in the garage and the cane is tootling me around now.

But while I was in the hoosgow for a couple days, I never forgot my first love – publishing. Upon coming out of my drug-induced fog in Recovery, I began banging out an email to one of my authors. The nurses started cracking up. I peeled my eyes open and mumbled out a, “What…the job waits for no one.”

One of the nurses kindly wrapped her fingers around mine and suggested my fake keyboard, made up entirely of heating blankets, could hold off for a bit and, perhaps, I could write a real one in a few hours. Guffaw. Truly one of the dumbest things I’ve done in a while. Just don’t call me undedicated.


Police Blotter

October 27, 2010

As seen in the OC Register’s Police Blotter:

Officers were called to the parking lot of the Hurry Up and Drink ‘Em drive-through margarita factory where a woman and beagle were in the process of making serious merry. The woman was wearing a fruit plate special on her head – legally purchased from Soup Plantation – and the beagle was sporting what she claimed as her Halloween costume. We will let readers be the judge.

Officers offered to drive the woman and beagle home, as officers are intimately familiar with the beagle and her group of German Shepherds. The woman was compliant, stating that she and the beagle were celebrating the literary wins of a number of their books. “We’re award winning authors, dontcha know?” she slurred numerous times.

Officers allowed the woman to polish off the last of her margarita before climbing into the police cruiser. She was dropped off at her residence and made numerous promises to get serious with her blog on Thursday. Today, we’re certain she is nursing a headache.

The beagle, however, had other ideas. She was last seen on the back of a Harley Davidson screeching, “Channel the beagle….muhahahaha!”

Anyone knowing the whereabouts of the beagle should call Behler Publications, as she has filing to do.


The Beagle is not amused

September 20, 2010

Rear Butt Covers. I’m highly amused. The beagle is insulted.

Must.
Have.


Sally Fields moment*

August 2, 2010

I’m not quite sure what put the jam in my jelly doughnut this past weekend…

having Mom call me from Hawaii (yes, they summer over there, the poor dears) and telling me there was a huge article on Barry Petersen and his fabulous book, Jan’s Story in their newspaper (making her nearly drop her morning cuppa)

or

hearing that Tackle Box was being sold in the bookstore at RWA. And I wasn’t even there because I don’t do romance. See, conference bookstores are usually fairly small and only sell books appropriate to the event. Of course you find your usual writing help books, but they’re usually the top sellers. So to have TB included – which goes ten steps further by giving a behind-the-scenes look at the publishing industry – makes me all giggly like. Which reminds me that I need another run since the first 2k units are gone-ski.

Le wow.

*“I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!” (or at least our books!)


Huh? Wazzat? I’m on vacation?

July 14, 2010

So I read this morning’s Shelf Awareness with my usual fervor while mainlining my morning cuppa and discovered that  I’m on vacation.

Um, well…heh…actually I am out of the office sunning and funning down in Palm Springs – but I’ll be back to the office bright-eyed, hopefully tanned, and relaxed, on Friday. However, the article claims that we  in the “quaint world of publishing” vacation from April to Labor Day.

Huh? Fudgesticks, I missed the memo and have been working rather hard. Since April, we signed two fabulous authors and released two books. I expect to be ready to release another fabulous book and sign a couple more authors before Labor Day comes around.

I have no idea why poor Mr. Frum and his literary friend aren’t getting responses from their publishers, but it’s laughable to suggest that we’re all on vacation.

Now…pass me the sunblock and that margarita, willya?


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