Busy Week

September 19, 2011

I’ll be rather invisible this week because I have lots going on. The Southern California Writer’s Conference is next weekend (I hope to see you there!), and I have advance submissions to read and crit, six Behler submissions to read, AND the beagle has me working on her I Can Haz Purse because she’ll be selling a bunch of them at the conference this coming weekend. Well…she won’t because the hotel doesn’t have a designer dog run for spoiled beagles, so we will pick up the slack for her. In return, she’s promised lots of margaritas.

I have so much I want to talk about in the writerly world, but it’ll have to wait until after the weekend. Have a great week, everyone, and write like the wind!

Birthdays are a time for discounts

May 13, 2011

So I wrote about my upcoming milestone birthday in a previous post and pondered how best to celebrate turning fifty-effing-five.


The beagle lopped of the price of her cover art purses by $5.50. So large purses will cost $54.50 and the small one will cost $39.50.

Click to enlarge

She says that even if you don’t have cover art, you can still play. Do you have a couple favorite family photos? They make fun purses.

Or what about advertising your business? Or your photography?

You don’t have to be an author to have a cool one-of-a-kind bag. Oh, and the beagle says that you can order them as a shoulder bag as well.

So that’s it. If you’re interested, just go to I Can Haz Purse and follow the pathetically easy instructions. The beagle insists that satisfaction is guaranteed. I told her not to worry – the sales teams and our fellow publishers that we met in New York freaked out over my bag and wanted to order some for their authors.

Show off your cover art with I Can Haz Purse

May 9, 2011

Not much to report today, only to make sure that you’ve gotten your Name That Company ideas into the beagle. She’s been gearing up for business, and her posse of doggeh friends is growing restless.

She was heartened to hear that I’d taken my cover purse to our sales meeting and drew all kinds of comments. And these are hardcore publishers and sales reps – and they all freaked out at the fabulosity of this idea. They were equally impressed with the quality and strength of the purse, cos I had a bunch of Pricey junk in there – my ever-faithful Kindle, wallet, purse, Metro card, iPod, cellie, pens, business cards, blah, blah, blah. Several took cards so they could order some for their own authors. This caused the beagle to polish off the remaining tequila.

That crabbity old bat Nicola Morgan had this to say about her purse that has the fabulous cover art of her upcoming book, Write To Be Published:

“To be honest, it’s hard to imagine any writer not wanting one of these gorgeous purses. I absolutely love mine and want to go out ALL the time with it. It’s so unusual and striking. Don’t suppose you’re going to do the same with shoes?!”

Shoes. That woman never gives up, does she? If you don’t read Nicola’s blog, you should. It’s jam packed with writerly advice that cuts to the quick – and she’s quite witty, though I think it’s because she drinks. But don’t tell her I said that.

And as crabbity as she is, she’s an equally fabulous writer. The first book of hers that I read was The Highwayman’s Footsteps. It’s YA, but I ate this book up because Ms. Crabbity is such a lovely writer. Her latest book, Wasted, is only available in the UK, a fact that irritates me beyond belief because it’s gotten rave reviews. So I’ll place my order and await its shipment to my grubby little fingers.

Author and Publishing extraordinaire, Victoria Strauss had this to say about her gorgeous purse – which I was sorely tempted to keep:

The purse arrived yesterday–how cool and clever! What a great idea for promotion! I love it.

Vic not only protects writers from making horrible publishing mistakes, but she’s a fabulous writer. I’m loving her latest release, Garden of the Stone. Even if you don’t read this genre, I implore you to buy it, as Vic shows what effective writing looks like. In fact, she’s such a lovely writer, she’s made a changed woman out of me, and I’ve ordered all her other books as well – of which there are many.

And in the end, that’s what promotion is all about, making readers aware of your book – and maybe adding new readers to the genre. And nothing does that better than cover art, right? And nothing shows off cover art better than a purse.

So what are you waiting for? The beagle invites…eh, what am I saying?…she implores you to visit her I Can Haz Purse page and submit your order today. She guarantees that you’ll be thrilled right down to your verbs and nouns.

And if you have a clever name to submit for the beagle’s company and it wins, you’ll win a freebie purse. The beagle changed her mind and announced that the winner will get the large purse (not the small one, as she’d originally planned) – a $60 value. So what are you waiting for? Anyone know what a pain it is to deal with a crabby beagle?

Name the company – win a purse

May 2, 2011

So I finally figured out why the beagle has been acting so strangely – giving me evil glares, stealing all my artsy crafty stuff, and refusing to file or answer phones. It wasn’t Spring Fever after all. Nor was she planning on running away with the Rottie down the street. She has decided the only way to greatness is to make her own money. Ungrateful wench.

Look, Ma, I haz purses - click for larger view

Despite her lack of opposable thumbs, she and her minions have decided to open up a side biz that puts authors’ cover art on purses. I can

attest to the fact that these purses draw a crowd because she made a couple for me, and it literally does stop traffic and initiates all kinds of conversation.

And sales.


Why? You need to ask why?? Oh, come on… who doesn’t want their gorgeous cover art being exposed all the time? It’s one of a kind, and beats the heck out of those goofy pins and earrings.

They also make great prizes or promotional giveaways (filled with a copy of your book, of course).


Click for larger view

However, there’s a glitch. She needs a clever name for her company, but she’s too hungover to think of one herself. Figures. I’ve told her I’m not helping, since I have my own gig going on. That leaves you – the good, kind readers of this blog to help out with a name. The winner will get a free small purse of her cover art – a $45 value. Dudes, if you win, yours will be a murse.

If you aren’t published and don’t have cover art, the beagle will make you a purse of your family pics, your doggeh, your boyfriend in the shower, your wedding, divorce, dancing on the table tops, whatever. Like this…

Basically, anything that can be photographed can be on one of the beagle’s purses.


If you look at the tab on the blog that says I Can Haz Purse (or simply click the link), you’ll see all the details of her company.

So that’s it. You’re all brilliant wordsmiths, so think up a clever, catchy name for the beagle’s company and win a one-of-a-kind purse that will set tongues to wagging and readers rushing to buy your book. It’s the perfect thing for proud moms, when flowers simply won’t do.

Simply use this handy dandy form to submit your idea, and the beagle will take care of the rest. The contest will be open until May 18, after which I will have either sold the beagle into doggeh slavery, or forced her to copy edit my next book.

The Burning Land-click for larger view

Here is the purse the beagle made for Victoria Strauss‘ fabulous book The Burning Land

And another that she made for that crabbity old bat, Nicola Morgan,

Write To Be Published-click for larger view

to celebrate her new release, Write To Be Published– sadly, only available in the UK.

Children of the Fog-click for larger view

And just so the beagle wouldn’t leave out Canada, here is the beagle’s first customer, Cheryl Kaye Tardif:

This contest is open to anyone and everyone – no matter where you live – the US, Canada, UK,  Australia, the moon, under a well-oiled barstool. The beagle awaits.

As for me, I’d rather she got back to filing.

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